Maria's Purpose

We lost a lovely soul six years ago. Maria was the kind of person who lit up a room

when she entered, and you were always glad that she was there. She was funny, a

terrific hostess and an enthusiastic event planner for our group of friends. She was the

first to spear head an outing for us Manochicks. And we had some interesting

adventures – but that’s another story!

Maria was fortunate in that she had the opportunity to retire early from her position with

the federal government. But this didn’t sit well with her. She was having a hard time

pulling the trigger. I recall spending an evening with her where she kept asking me ‘But

what is my life’s purpose?’ Personally I wanted her to retire early so I kept assuring her

that her purpose in life had nothing to do with her job and that very few people’s jobs

were their lives work.

We lost Maria a few short years later. At her funeral another friend of hers spoke about

how Maria worried about her life’s purpose. This brought our previous conversation

back to me. I realized that I hadn’t helped to answer her real question because I was

only telling her what I thought her life’s purpose was not. Few people can cure cancer

or produce an award-winning piece of art. Most people’s accomplishments in life are far

humbler. But we do have a purpose. That purpose is personal for each of us. It is also

dynamic in that it may change over time. With age comes wisdom and with wisdom

comes changes of the mind and the heart. Many people would suggest that our

purpose is to make people happy or to ensure that we are happy ourselves and

therefore, are living our best life. I have come to believe that it is harder to define your

own life’s purpose than it is to define one for someone else.

Since she passed, I have spent some time mulling it over. They say hindsight is twenty-

twenty and maybe it is because now it seems crystal clear. Maria’s purpose was to

make the people in her life feel special. She was a wonderful daughter, wife and mother

and an energetic, hands-on grandmother. She was a volunteer in the community,

rocking newborn babies at CHEO. She was generous with her time and genuinely

cared for her people. She was a good friend to me and many others. This is how she

specifically made me feel special: when she asked me how I was, she really was

interested in the answer. She shut out the rest of the people around her and listened to

what I had to say. She asked questions and listened intently. I felt like she cared for me

deeply. You never forget a feeling like that and therefore I will never forget Maria. I’ve

noticed that I think about her more in May, the month we lost her. But her memory

comes back to me often: when someone laughs at a party, when I come across

something while shopping that I know she would have liked, when I feel low and need

someone to talk to.

If Maria is remembered fondly and with love – and I know she is by many, many people,

it proves that her life had purpose. She fulfilled that purpose in a spectacular way.

Thank you, Maria.

Submitted by Laurel Crosbie-Michaud